The Postpartum Journey
Postpartum can feel lonely. Isolating. Overwhelming. Monotonous.
The nights are daunting because will baby sleep all night or will it be another night up constant nursing, rocking, and sleepless cuddles.
The anxiety can be debilitating. The stress and sadness from the hormonal imbalance and trying to find yourself again post pregnancy and outside of motherhood seems impossible.
Well mama, you are not alone. 1 in 7 moms experience some form of postpartum depression or anxiety after the birth of their little one.
The postpartum period triggers the most intense and rapid hormonal shift a person will ever go through. It impacts your body, mind, and emotions in a way that you never expected.
Postpartum recovery isn’t just six to eight weeks. It’s actually more like:
3-4 months for your immune system to balance out.
At least 4 months for your brain to adjust (baby brain).
3-6 months to rebuild your pelvic floor and core strength.
Up to 12 months for your iron level to normalize.
And 1-2 years to finally feel like yourself again.
Yes, practically 2 years for us to fully feel like ourselves again - and now having three kids - I can definitely attest to this.
I was only 13 months postpartum when I got pregnant with my second and let me tell you, that journey emotionally was probably the hardest thing I went through as I still hadn’t fully recovered from baby #1. But after waiting 3 years before getting pregnant with baby #3, I will say year 2 postpartum is definitely the sweet spot. You are more mentally and emotionally stable, you’ve found your rhythm, and you’re finally out of the heavy trenches of the infant and early toddler stage so you can actually find the time and space for yourself again. Discovering the newly evolved you.
Now, after baby #3 I did struggle with some postpartum anxiety. I wasn’t eating enough, my sleep was extremely broken, anxiety attacks crept up nightly plus social anxiety kept me from even attempting any social gatherings.
And let’s not forget the inevitable “baby brain” that we experience as well. Often due to hormonal changes, increased workload, and sleep deprivation - the brain fog during the early postpartum stages can be so real. I truly felt like I didn’t how to interact outside my baby bubble and my little family. I didn’t want to socialize, yet I yearned to have a break from the endless cycle of mothering all day long. Tending to everyone’s needs but my own.
I dreaded the thought of going back to work only to fake like I was okay. Having to pretend like I cared about anything other than being present for my babies.
Thankfully though, after enduring three pregnancies and postpartum experiences, I recognized the signs and I talked to my doctor, got assessed, and embraced the help.
Though the process was challenging, and I’ll be honest, it got worse before it got better (but that’s a conversation for another day), talking through it and getting the help I needed from doctors, my husband, and support and prayers from my closest friends made it easier to navigate.
If you’re in thick of postpartum and possibly experiencing postpartum depression or anxiety, remember these things:
Be gentle with yourself. Be patient. -Take it one day at a time. It may not get better overnight but little by little it will get better. Give yourself grace and know that you went through a lot, you’re enduring a lot, and it’s okay to not have it all together just yet. Adjusting to life with a baby or multiples is complex and re-learning yourself, your body, and your family dynamic with a baby is challenging yet beautiful. Don’t expect to have it all together immediately.
Be honest with how you feel - Don’t undermine your feelings or your experience. It's normal to experience a wide range of emotions after giving birth, including joy, inexplicable sadness, exhaustion, and anxiety. Listen to your body, take things at your own pace.
Seek help if needed. - The best advice I can give is to seek help! Taking care of your mental health is crucial in postpartum care.Your emotions might be all over the place after childbirth. Acknowledge these emotions and seek support if you're overwhelmed. Tell your doctor. Seek therapy or join mommy groups to connect with other mothers who can understand what you're going through.Don’t be afraid to explore different options to better adjust!
Understand that you are not alone and all of this is completely normal. 1 in 7 moms experience postpartum depression or anxiety and in some capacity most moms experience the baby blues within the first few weeks of having a baby. Motherhood can pull things out of you that you didn’t even know existed. But guess what, you are so capable of getting through it! And you are not alone.
Let others share your load. Mama, we cannot do this alone. Especially in the trenches when we’re healing, dealing with the hormonal imbalance, and adjusting to life with baby. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Whether you let dad take on more around the house, help with the daunting night shift, or it can be as simple as venting to a friend. Ask for help from family, friends, or caregivers. As hard as it is to ask or even relinquish control- you don’t have to do it ALL.
Prioritize yourself. Rest and recovery is essential. Your body is healing, and you're adjusting to the demands of caring for a newborn. Prioritize sleep when you can. Take it easy. Take time for activities that make you feel good, such as reading, listening to music, or taking a bath. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and although your baby is your top priority- you can’t forget yourself. Replenish yourself or allow others to pour into you too.
This too shall pass. The postpartum trenches don’t last forever. You will feel better. The sleepless nights will end. The anxiety or sadness will dissipate. And you will find your rhythm and your new normal as a mommy, wife, friend, etc. though it’s hard to see the end of the tunnel when you’re in the thick of it, stay hopeful and diligent in taking care of you and leaning on others to tell you get there! And remember to love on your baby and soak it all in through the process!
